Do Wives Need To Submit?

“submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:21–22, ESV)

Ephesians 5 may be the Bible's clearest teaching on the subject of marriage. In this section the apostle Paul is outlining the framework of marriage, specifically the roles that wives and husbands must fulfill within this covenant union. God has designed wives to respectfully submit to their husbands leadership/influence, and husbands must lovingly and sacrificially use their leadership/influence for the benefit of their wives. This is God's essential design for marriage.

This design, however, has come under attack. Christian teaching on marriage, especially a wife’s submission, is commonly viewed as reprehensible. Consider this sentiment from a vociferous voice in the feminist movement:

“Since marriage constitutes slavery for women, it is clear that the Women’s Movement must concentrate on attacking this institution. Freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage” (Sheila Cronan, Radical Feminism, 219).

Wow! She is essentially saying that marriage is the equivalent of slavery and as long as it exists women cannot be free. This is, admittedly, an extreme position. And yet, the ideas that undergird this position have become mainstream. Many people who would reject this sentiment as extremism still live as if it were true. How often do people speak of marriage as if it were a form of bondage? For years men have inappropriately joked about their wives being a "ball and chain." New and sophisticated attacks on marriage are really just advancements of the same selfish rejections of God's design for the home that have been lurking for years.

At the heart of the world's consternation over biblical marriage is the idea that submission is part of a wife's role in the home. This principle has been rejected and scorned by the world, and even by some who would profess the name of Christ. There are entire denominations that deny this tenant of Christian marriage, which seems strange when it says "wives submit to your own husbands" right there in Ephesians 5:21. So how do people try to get around this command to deny the principle of submission?

It is not in the text

One of the arguments given for a denial of this principles is the fact that the word "submit", which is supplied in English translations, is not actually in the Greek text. This is true; the Greek verb for submit (which is found in v. 21) is not repeated in v. 22. However, this does not mean that women do not need to submit to their husbands or that mutual submission erases any distinct emphasis on women submitting. Here's why:

• Grammatically, the clause in v. 22 needs a verb and the verb from v. 21 fills that need. In other words, the context/grammar make it clear (necessary) that Paul intended for submission to be understood which is why there was no need for him to repeat the word.

• Contextually, in v. 23 Paul calls the husband the "head" of the household, which means that he is the leader to whom wives must submit.

• Biblically, this principle doesn't not depend upon this statement exclusively. The rest of the Bible teaches the same thing (cf., Col 3:18; cf. 1 Cor 14:34; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1–7).

It is outdated

Some reject the principle of submission because it is outdated. The argument goes something like this, "Sure, Paul tells wives to submit, but that is because it was normal in the time that he was writing. This is not an abiding principle that people today should follow."

Is this command really a culturally conditioned precept? No! Here is how we know that this is an abiding principle:

• Paul says that wives are to submit to their husbands "as unto the Lord." This does not mean that husbands have the same authority as Jesus. A husband does not have ultimate authority over his wife. He can't command his wife to sin and a wife does not have to submit to physical abuse from her husband. It simply means that this principle is from the Lord (not culture), so when you obey it you are obeying the Lord.

• Paul compares a wife's submission to the submission of the church to Christ, which is not a temporary reality. Paul's command is not rooted in cultural constructions, it is comparable with the very constitution of God's people.

• Paul quotes from Genesis to show that this is a principle that has always been around. The fact that this generation rejects this principle doesn't make it outdated, it just means that our generation is out of step with God's design going all the way back to creation.

It is just the Bible

There are some who rightly recognize that the Bible teaches that wives must submit to their husband, but they reject the Bible's teaching. In their mind, the Bible is a nice little book unless you disagree with what it says, then it is a fallible collection of man's writings riddled with errors. This view is unpersuasive to someone who believes the Bible is infallible, inerrant, authoritative, and sufficient. To put it bluntly, to take this view is a to twist God's revelation so you can live according to the dictates of the world. That is a scary strategy for life and eternity.

Note: You can read more about how to manage and maintain the home from a biblical perspective in The Christian Home a book by Paul Shirley.